I (F39) have known my friend since middle school. She was one of my bullies. But during high school we became good friends and she even was a bridesmaid at my first wedding. My marriage was chaotic and ended up in a divorce. I needed a friend during those difficult times, wanting to go out with her for a drink or a coffee, but she never had the time, always had excuses and she left me waiting and not showing up several times. But I never held grudges against her. We all have our own issues.
A while back, I met a guy and started dating him. She once made a comment about how handsome my new boyfriend was and how ugly I used to be in middle school, but I didn't say anything because I don't like drama.
I moved out of town and got married and she started a Pastries & Breakfast business and we kept contact through Facebook; last year I wasn't going to be able to visit my mom for mother's day, So, I decided to support my friend and send my mom a nice flower arrangement with breakfast from my friend's business. I talked to her and she said she could definitely do it. I asked for her payment info, but she did not reply and ignored me for days. I kept sending her texts asking about the order and payment for my mom's present and never got a response. I assumed she wasn't going to do it, so I talked to my sister instead, and sent her money to buy my mom something else.
Three days before mother's day, she texted me with the payment information and I told her that I had already arranged something with my sister because she never responded, and she got upset, saying that she had already bought the supplies and I was going to make her lose money by canceling the order.
I apologized and asked if my sister could pay in cash when my mother got the breakfast and flowers on mother's day; she said yes and we set a timeframe to deliver the stuff at my mom's house to make sure my sister was there to pay for it.
The day came and she never showed up. My sister waited for a couple of hours and I finally messaged her to ask what was going on. She said she thought the order was scheduled to be delivered the next day and she didn't have it ready. I sent her screenshots with the date and time frame that we both agreed on. She responded very rudely and asked what I wanted to do. I told her not to worry, that it was fine, and to please cancel the order, So I could figure out my mom's present with my sister, and I also thanked her for her time. I don't think I was being rude, but she got offended and snapped at me telling me that yes, she made a mistake but that wasn't a good reason for me to treat her like a child. She offered to do it for free the next day. I said "no, thank you" because it wouldn't be mother's day and also explained that my mom had plans and wasn't going to be available anyway. I told her in a nice way that my intention was not to get free stuff from her, that I didn't want to hurt her business and I'd rather get my mom something else with my sister's help.
Am I the asshole?
