My now husband (32 y/o male) and myself (29 y/o female) managed an entire block of townhouses from March 2018 to November 2021. One of my best friend's brothers needed a place to rent. It just so happened we had the cheapest one vacant! Now before I dive well into this…I would like to say, we did not get to make ANY of the decisions for these townhouses. We simply did all the maintenance, all the cleaning for midnight runs (which happen more than a person would think), showing the units, fixing functional house problems, and signing people up. This also meant that we handled complaints, inspections, and evictions. The owner just collected money and made all final decisions.
So back to the brother. The brother and I weren’t really friends, we more or less tolerated each other. So being the manager of his unit was easy for me. When it became a problem was when his sister….my best friend moved in.
I loved her, she was an important person in my life, but my husband and I both knew how difficult she can be when she doesn’t get her way…so when we were told she was moving in…I knew it was only a matter of time.
The first time there was an issue was when their neighbors had just had their baby and complained about the VERY loud music coming from next door. The complaint came in at 12am on a weekday, bylaw is quiet time at 11 pm. Since it was the first complaint, I told her verbally they had to keep it down during the week. She seemed fine with the warning so life went on. But after this, whenever I get would go over to their place for a visit as a FRIEND, she would talk about every issue in the townhouse and one night she and her brother went as far as to talk about how they may not be able to pay rent on time (they knew what the late fees would be).
I was under the impression we were all able to separate when I was there as a friend and as the manager. Clearly however, I was so wrong.
Fast forward a couple months, I am over there with my 2 bestfriends and we’re having a blast! Music, drinks, having so much fun. 9:30 rolls around and Although it was early, the music was so loud, I could barely hear her over her music and she was sitting right beside me. I asked her to turn it down and instead, she chose to ignore me. I was baffled by this and got a little annoyed. I just wanted to hear the conversation and I figured if it was so loud I couldn’t hear her talking, there’s no way the baby could sleep through that!!
A little more time went by and we got a complaint call at 2:30 am on a Friday. My husband contacted her brother this time and stated the music had to be turned down or we would call the cops. The brother was immediate in response and turned off the music. He also reassured us he spoke with his sister. My husband and I both believed him. The brother was an excellent tenant and always reasonable and understanding.
The last straw came a week later, we got a text at 2:30 again on a Saturday (we understand having fun and listening to music….but at what point is it considered disrespectful to the neighbors?). We called the brother again this time. He was annoyed but talked to his sister. But again at 3 we got another complaint…so we texted the brother and my best friend…stating we had gotten another complaint and to turn the music down. However….3:30 came around and they STILL had the music cranked. I went as far as to go out my door to walk down there (we live in one of the townhouses) however, I only needed to open my door to hear it. I told my husband to call the cops. They got a warning and the music turned off.
Since we received numerous complaints and tried to work with them and be civil, this was the last straw for us. My husband and I both agreed it was time to set a VERY clear boundary. I texted both the brother and the sister stating that the next time we get a noise complaint against them, we will be writing up an eviction notice.
Of course she never told her brother that I had spoken with her in the past, so he was shocked to say the least. My best friend said I was the problem since I couldn’t separate my friend from the manager. She admitted that she ignored me as I was telling her how to live her life and said that if I cannot make this separation that maybe I shouldn’t go over to her place.
Naturally I said okay. It just wasn’t worth my time because at this point, I felt like I was trying to MAINTAIN the friendship rather than enjoy it.
It’s been a couple years and we are no longer friends. She and her brother have both since moved out. But I can’t help but wonder…Am I the asshole?
